Lindsay L. O'Connor

Whatever your Enneagram number is, people have been trained to expect your habitual patterns of behavior. It can be uncomfortable for ourselves and others when we begin to break those patterns. It might be helpful to communicate to those closest to you that you are working on becoming healthier and appreciate your support as you try out new, healthier patterns of behavior.

As an #enneagram6 , my life’s work will always be learning to trust myself and my own inner knowing. Suzanne Stabile says that people often love us for our personalities, and when we start to do Enneagram work and begin to grow, not everyone in our lives will be happy about it.

I’ve noticed that as I begin to get in touch with and trust my own inner knowing, not everyone is used to it. Because my default pattern is to look to others for guidance, I have spent over 3 decades training people (who are close to me) to do my thinking for me. I’ve noticed that any time I make a big life decision, when I do the work to trust myself, other people aren’t used to my self-assurance. I become the recipient of unsolicited advice. 

When this happens, I need to do even more work not to second guess myself and to assert myself with confidence. This fits in with some of the work I’ve been doing around establishing healthy boundaries. Eventually, I hope to retrain people in my life to trust my ability to get in touch with my inner knowing and make a decision with confidence. Trusting myself will help them learn to trust me too.

What healthy new patterns are you working to establish? What have others done (or could they do) to support you in your growth?