“If you do not have someone to guide you, to hold onto you during the times of not knowing, you will normally stay at your present level of growth.”
–Father Richard Rohr
What is spiritual direction?
In spiritual direction, a trained listener serves as a compassionate, non-judgmental companion for the spiritual journey. Together, the director and directee discern and respond to the voice and active presence of the Holy in order to experience greater freedom. Spiritual direction helps people awaken to the reality and movement of divine Love in their lives so that they may participate in Love’s restorative, transformative work in the world.
Ok, but what is it really?
What is a typical session like?
Overview
Typically, spiritual direction sessions occur monthly and last about 50 minutes, although this can vary. Many spiritual directors begin with a centering moment. I like to start sessions by letting directees choose whether they want to begin with a prayer, poem, moment of silence, or guided meditation. This provides space to slow down and transition from wherever we were before to a more contemplative, reflective space. During the session, I will listen more than talk, and it will be driven by the directee. No homework or preparation of any kind is required of directees. At the end of the session, I share a poem, prayer, or blessing, and then we take a moment to schedule our next session. The bulk of the session can look different depending on many factors, but these are some of the components of typical sessions:
Some Components of Spiritual Direction:
Reflective listening
The content of a session is dependent upon what the directee would like to discuss on a given day. Because all things have a spiritual aspect and the Divine can be found in all things, the topics appropriate to discuss during sessions are wide-ranging. Usually, the directee will do most of the talking while the director practices deep, non-judgmental, reflective listening.
Often, simply having time and space set aside to process our thoughts and feelings as they are reflected back to us in a compassionate atmosphere can lead to insights and healing, particularly if we have been feeling spiritually “stuck.” Over time, certain themes may arise, and it can be helpful for the spiritual director to reflect back overarching themes she is noticing in a directee’s spiritual journey.
Silence & holding space
Spiritual directors make space for pauses, prayer, or silent moments to listen (both internally and externally) and see what emerges. This will vary depending on the directee’s level of comfort with silence; often, the first few sessions are more fast-paced as folks who are new to spiritual direction may have a backlog of things they would like to discuss. As directees grow more comfortable with pauses and develop a sense of trust with the director, sessions may slow down and incorporate more silence. Directors also hold space for grief, uncomfortable emotions, and unanswered questions.
Spiritual practices
Sometimes a word, phrase, image, or spiritual practice is helpful in discovering meaning or direction on the spiritual journey. Directors can introduce, help process, model, or discuss spiritual practices. Sometimes, feelings of restlessness, discontent, or being stuck serve as an invitation to experience God in new, more expansive ways that lead to deeper intimacy with the Divine. Contemplative practices such as centering prayer, walking a labyrinth, lectio divina, visio divina, and others draw on ancient traditions that can help seekers to find the sacred in every day life.
Embodied spirituality
I hold to a theology of embodied spirituality and find that our bodies have deep wisdom to share for our spiritual healing and growth. In spiritual direction, we take time to notice what is happening in our bodies and explore the wisdom they offer. I have learned from disability theologians about the inherent goodness of all bodies and the ties between the physical and the spiritual, contrary to the artificial divide that western culture draws between the secular and the sacred.
Healing from systems of oppression
Systems of oppression are directly linked to our bodies because as Sonya Renee Taylor, author of The Body is Not an Apology, says, “…all oppression is an experience of the body.” Our spiritual well-being is directly impacted by the oppression our bodies experience from racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, fat phobia, classism, ableism, and more. Matters of identity deeply impact our spiritual lives. Whether we belong to the oppressed or privileged groups in various categories, we are all harmed by systems of oppression. Part of the work that happens in spiritual direction can be finding spiritual freedom and healing from oppression.
Savoring & celebrating
One of my favorite parts of spiritual direction is having space to reflect on, savor, and celebrate growth, healing, and new freedoms directees are noticing in their spiritual lives. In our fast-paced, high-pressure culture that over-emphasizes achievement, consumerism, and success, we often neglect to take the time to stop and notice how far we’ve come. Savoring is an important practice in which we can notice what joy, gratitude, compassion, hope, and peace feel like in our bodies. This helps us build a memory of these internal safe spaces that we can return to when we become dysregulated.
Questions?
If you have questions about spiritual direction or would like to check availability for a meet and greet, please contact me below. I look forward to hearing from you!
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Lindsay L. O'Connor 