Lindsay L. O'Connor

Image: text says “What if deconstruction is simply the tearing down of idols?”

I’ve seen lots of conversation lately about faith deconstruction. I know it can mean different things to different people, but I think for me, it has meant learning to see and tear down idols. As I have listened to more BIPOC, LGBTQ+, poor, and disabled folks, I have realized how deeply rooted in white American Evangelical culture my understanding of God and the Bible has been. These cultural beliefs had become all knotted up with who I thought God was, and anything we see and worship as God that is not really God, is an idol. 

If we are all made in God’s image, then to know the beautiful diversity of God’s people is to know God better. 

So many sacred cows have been tipped over for me as I have begun to see that much of what I thought was Christianity is actually just white American culture. I need God to be bigger than that, and I’m so glad to find that God is. 

As an Enneagram 6, one of the hardest parts for me at the beginning of this unraveling was the uncertainty. If I let go of one belief, but hadn’t figured out what I thought yet in its place, where would I land? Shifting foundations are so uncomfortable for those of us who like predictability and structure.

Though it was scary and disorienting at first, I’ve seen the rich fruit of wrestling with God and theology, and I’ve experienced the tenderness of God in the process of my healing. I’m learning to trust that whatever I’m letting go of will open my hands for something better and truer. When I come to God with open hands, heart, and mind, God gives me gifts for which I didn’t even know to hope or ask. 

God is so much better than many of us have allowed ourselves to believe, and we are so much more loved than we knew. Wherever you find yourself in the process of knowing God, it all belongs. You are so loved.