Lindsay L. O'Connor

2020 is so tough, but sometimes you can catch glimpses of the sun peeking through. Every which way I turn, I see more suffering… illness, death, racial injustice, devastating loss due to wildfires and natural disasters, poverty, abuse, and regular, everyday losses that seem like luxuries to grieve given everything happening in the world. 

Years ago, when I was seeing a therapist after my miscarriage, she shared the thought that sometimes grief is like a cloud that follows us around as long as we don’t acknowledge it. She suggested that I set aside a specific time each day to grieve, even if only for 10 minutes, in a way that made sense to me (journaling, praying, just sitting quietly, etc.). As we take time to acknowledge it, the cloud can begin to dissipate.

As uncomfortable as it is, I’m practicing allowing myself to grieve small losses when I feel sadness bubble up instead of shaming myself or rationalizing the feelings “away” (they don’t really leave). Carrying around unprocessed feelings, regardless of the trigger, has not helped me or those around me. Moving through them makes me lighter and freer to love well.

Be gentle with yourself and the people around you. Humaning is hard, and 2020 has taken it up a few notches. You are so loved.