Category: Feelings
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when you begin to feel again
when you begin to feel again when you begin to feel againWhen life is overwhelming,our wise bodies sometimes takean overdue breakand our obedient hearts and mindsfollow suit.Maybe it feels like fatigueor illnessor depressionor apathy.Everythingjustshutsdown.It all felt like too much,and it was.You were never meantto carry so much alone.And then, some time,there’s a little crack.Maybe it…
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unfiltered: dropping the inner commentary
“Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new. …Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you…
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fear is (not) a liar
Fear is (not) a liarBy Lindsay L. O’ConnorI used to try to divorce myself from inconvenient feelingsthat seemed to:- stand in the way of my goals- threaten my connection with people I loved or depended on- make me uncomfortable.Those poor dears!They cowered in the dark, shoved down, covered up,sealed tight by shame, guilt, and anxiety.Do…
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unedited
What would you say if you stopped editing yourself? Not in a public forum, but just alone with your Self, and maybe even with God. Part of my deconstruction has been finding the safety to stop editing myself in what I share with God. I used to be so bound up in behaving correctly and…
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the inconvenience of our sadness
The Inconvenience of Our Sadness Do you ever feel so tired, you just weep and weep and weep? Weeping sounds so beautiful, like a willow— elegant sadness stretching out perpetually, showing off her delicate leaves draped on bending branches. My sadness never feels that lovely. It feels ugly, self-indulgent, and inconvenient— an obstacle to all…
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Anxiety Dance
Anxiety Dance I used to think anxiety was a moral failure, a personal flaw, an indication of a lack of faith. I thought if I tried hard enough and prayed often enough, I could send her away, her departure the reward for my spiritual growth. Then, do you know, the more I tried to get…
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listen to your rage
Listen to your rage and hear the ache underneath— the excruciating gap between “should be” and “is actually.” Sometimes we call it grief. Feel it in your body— a burning, consuming flood of adrenaline priming you for action because “is actually” is actually unbearable. When your rage collapses, listen for its wisdom. Let it tell…
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Jesus wept. We can, too.
We don’t have to buy into the cultural lie that sadness, anger, and grief are unholy indicators of a lack of faith. In fact, I would argue that a faith that hasn’t wrestled with doubt and grief is in danger of becoming, or has become, atrophied. In scripture, we see a Jesus who wept, got…
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be gentle with you.
2020 is so tough, but sometimes you can catch glimpses of the sun peeking through. Every which way I turn, I see more suffering… illness, death, racial injustice, devastating loss due to wildfires and natural disasters, poverty, abuse, and regular, everyday losses that seem like luxuries to grieve given everything happening in the world. Years…