When life is overwhelming, our wise bodies sometimes take an overdue break and our obedient hearts and minds follow suit. Maybe it feels like fatigue or illness or depression or apathy. Everything just shuts down.
It all felt like too much, and it was. You were never meant to carry so much alone.
And then, some time, there’s a little crack. Maybe it was sparked by a good memory a baby's chubby hand grasping your finger a particular song a dragonfly’s wing the sunlight coming through the clouds a roly poly between the sidewalk and the grass the touch of a loved one or the presence of someone who is companioning you on your healing journey— a therapist, spiritual director, sponsor, or friend.
Beneath the hard, shiny surface that was protecting you so well, you might catch a glimpse of your tender, beating heart.
I’m alive I’m alive I’m alive it says. I am hurting, but I’m still here.
When you begin to feel again, you enter the holy ground of vulnerability because feelings are wild things that were meant to be allowed, not controlled.
Your body might panic— it hasn’t yet learned whether you can tolerate the intensity— but the intensity is just a mail carrier delivering its messages.
And oh, Beloved, here’s the good news: it’s not just the pain that’s been on hold. When you begin to feel again, Joy and Wonder and Curiosity and Excitement and Gratitude and Compassion and Tenderness and Belonging are close on the heels of your sorrow. When Sadness gains access to your softening heart again, she will let the others know that it’s safe to come back home.
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