Category: Self-Compassion
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certainty vs. clarity
Image text: We can’t always have the certainty we want, but discernment allows us to find the clarity we need. One of the driving needs for Enneagram 6s is for certainty, though no doubt other personality types gravitate toward certainty-seeking, as well. We like to know what’s coming so we can prepare ourselves, even if…
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deconstruction resources: books
Someone recently asked for suggestions for resources as they begin the process of faith deconstruction. As I was thinking over the books and podcasts that have been most helpful to me over the past five years or so, I thought it might be helpful for others, as well. I know deconstruction means different things to…
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Healed People Heal People
I poured my heart and soul into this post I wrote about healing for our church’s blog over at Arapaho United Methodist Church. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for the way God has met me in my pain and shame and am passionate about normalizing this conversation! Healed People Heal People BY LINDSAY O’CONNOR Father Richard…
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Being good vs. being loved
I recently got out all of my old journals, the first of which began when I was barely old enough to form letters. As I read this cross-section of different stages of my life, I was struck by what now seems like unnecessary angst and striving to be good. My prayers were so earnest, and…
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judgment vs. compassion
Judgement shuts down vulnerability, but compassion paves the way for connection, which is the antidote to shame. Years ago, I was part of a small group where we were encouraged to share our struggles so we could support and pray for one another. I don’t remember the specific thing I shared (probably my struggle with…
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Jesus wept. We can, too.
We don’t have to buy into the cultural lie that sadness, anger, and grief are unholy indicators of a lack of faith. In fact, I would argue that a faith that hasn’t wrestled with doubt and grief is in danger of becoming, or has become, atrophied. In scripture, we see a Jesus who wept, got…
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who were you before you learned to protect yourself?
Enneagram wisdom teaches that our personalities developed early on in our lives as a way for us to cope with hard things. No matter how ideal childhood may have been, we all enter a messy, imperfect world where we hurt and are hurt by others. Our personalities were good and helpful gifts that helped us…
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be gentle with you.
2020 is so tough, but sometimes you can catch glimpses of the sun peeking through. Every which way I turn, I see more suffering… illness, death, racial injustice, devastating loss due to wildfires and natural disasters, poverty, abuse, and regular, everyday losses that seem like luxuries to grieve given everything happening in the world. Years…
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parenting yourself: Mental Health Awareness Month
Pre-quarantine, back in the days of yore, my husband and I went to a dinner party. I had been battling on-going physical and mental health issues and learning how to deal with panic attacks. We had jumped through some hoops to find childcare so that we could spend an evening with adults, but Anxiety didn’t…
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Quarantine queries, #4: How can I talk back to my shame?
We are coming to the end of week 7 in quarantine. Every day I am grateful for many things, but today I felt Not Ok. I’m learning that when I struggle, the struggle itself usually pales in comparison to the shame that is close on the heels of the initial problem. Some days, it whispers…
Lindsay L. O'Connor 