Category: Shame Resilience
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this is why it hurts
this is why it hurts Did it hurt, the first time you gave yourself away? Did it sting, when the little pieces splintered into fragments that you wished you could take back, offered up like candy on the altar of broken relationships? Unaware, perhaps, of the crime you were committing, you were focused on perfecting…
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Welcome to the In-Between
Welcome to the In-Between Welcome to the in-between. I’d tell you to pull up a chair, but the furniture here never seems to quite fit. I’d say, “Make yourself comfortable,” but we’d only laugh— as though comfort were not the one most pressing desire at the forefront of your mind. God is here; this I…
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invitation to the unburdening
Image text: Enneagram work reveals how the weight of our armor has become more crushing than the things from which it was protecting us. Increased awareness is the beginning of the unburdening. Our personality is a gift that has allowed us to protect ourselves, but as we mature, we may begin to see that it…
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…even then, you were loved.
Even then, you were loved. When you did something great, something terrible, or nothing at all… When you felt the pressure of praise for performance and when you felt completely and utterly unseen… When God’s voice was loud and clear, and when God was eerily silent… When your pain was unbearable, and when your joy…
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all bodies are good bodies
Maybe instead of lamenting weight changes during traumatic seasons, we could practice saying, “This is the body that carried me through such a difficult time. Thank you.” Self-love and self-compassion can extend to these miraculous bodies we inhabit. Our bodies carry the joys, trauma, and scars of surviving in a beautiful, painful world. When we…
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transformation
Image text: It can be hard to empathize with someone else’s story when you’re drowning in your own. If you’re in survival mode, don’t let shame be piled on top of it all. Let go of the need to perform and instead, try to allow. The lessons of transformation will present themselves. Sometimes the best…
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belonging vs. fitting in
Image contents: a poppy in a field of larkspurs. Text says,“‘If I get to be me, I belong. If I have to be like you, I fit in.’ Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown” I’ve long grappled with a sense of not quite fitting in wherever I go and have always wondered if everyone else…
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certainty vs. clarity
Image text: We can’t always have the certainty we want, but discernment allows us to find the clarity we need. One of the driving needs for Enneagram 6s is for certainty, though no doubt other personality types gravitate toward certainty-seeking, as well. We like to know what’s coming so we can prepare ourselves, even if…
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deconstruction resources: books
Someone recently asked for suggestions for resources as they begin the process of faith deconstruction. As I was thinking over the books and podcasts that have been most helpful to me over the past five years or so, I thought it might be helpful for others, as well. I know deconstruction means different things to…
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Healed People Heal People
I poured my heart and soul into this post I wrote about healing for our church’s blog over at Arapaho United Methodist Church. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for the way God has met me in my pain and shame and am passionate about normalizing this conversation! Healed People Heal People BY LINDSAY O’CONNOR Father Richard…