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Breaking pedestals
We can’t have authentic relationships with others until they fall off the pedestals we constructed and are allowed to be human. Enneagram 6s tend to look for external authorities to follow or rebel against because we don’t trust ourselves. The natural consequence is that we sometimes need more from others than what they can or…
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judgment vs. compassion
Judgement shuts down vulnerability, but compassion paves the way for connection, which is the antidote to shame. Years ago, I was part of a small group where we were encouraged to share our struggles so we could support and pray for one another. I don’t remember the specific thing I shared (probably my struggle with…
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Jesus wept. We can, too.
We don’t have to buy into the cultural lie that sadness, anger, and grief are unholy indicators of a lack of faith. In fact, I would argue that a faith that hasn’t wrestled with doubt and grief is in danger of becoming, or has become, atrophied. In scripture, we see a Jesus who wept, got…
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Enneagram 6s and Advent
I didn’t grow up in a tradition that talked much about Advent or Lent or the Liturgical Calendar in general, but I keep finding myself gravitating to these rhythms that connect me with God as well as other people of faith all over the globe. This year, for the first time, we have Advent…
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who were you before you learned to protect yourself?
Enneagram wisdom teaches that our personalities developed early on in our lives as a way for us to cope with hard things. No matter how ideal childhood may have been, we all enter a messy, imperfect world where we hurt and are hurt by others. Our personalities were good and helpful gifts that helped us…
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communal grief & communal joy
**Please note: This IS a political post, because politics affect people. This post is for my friends in the margins and the privileged folks who are standing with them. To anyone else, I’m open to civil discussions offline.** When I began listening to people in the margins, one of the most important refrains I heard…
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the body you have
As I approach middle age, I am just as susceptible to insecurity as the next woman, but I have decided that I don’t want to spend my whole life feeling dissatisfied with my body. When my 9 year old shares her insecurities about her appearance, I only know two things: I know how just how…
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4 AM panic prayer
I woke up at 3:15 this morning in a panic. A nagging pain in my side, coupled with some other minor health issues over the past couple days, triggered anxiety-inducing memories of some medical emergencies I’ve had over the last few years. I tried my go-to coping strategies but was struggling with an inconvenient middle-of-the-night…
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be gentle with you.
2020 is so tough, but sometimes you can catch glimpses of the sun peeking through. Every which way I turn, I see more suffering… illness, death, racial injustice, devastating loss due to wildfires and natural disasters, poverty, abuse, and regular, everyday losses that seem like luxuries to grieve given everything happening in the world. Years…
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Quarantine Queries 6: Why does fruit rot on the tree?
We drove to New Mexico for some fresh air, family time, and a change of quarantine scenery. I wanted to do some writing this week but have been in a bit of a dry spell. As I wandered about, observing my new surroundings, I found a peach tree. I noticed some rotting fruit still on…
Lindsay L. O'Connor
Spiritual Director | Enneagram Professional